


The Shining Tempest

by WistfulWishes



Category: League of Legends
Genre: Depression, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, F/F, Family, Forbidden Love, Lesbian Character, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rare Pairings, Romance, Self-Discovery, Self-Harm, Slow Build, Suicidal Thoughts, Triggers, War, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:13:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24291880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WistfulWishes/pseuds/WistfulWishes
Summary: Crownguard - the name that held prestige and was renowned by all Demacians. The guardians and aids to the crown of Demacia. Luxanna never felt that she was deserving, nor fitting, of the surname bestowed upon on her. Ever since Luxanna discovered her innate "blessing" of magic, a cursed and declared evil practice by the region of Demacia, she couldn't help but feel even more isolated and distant from being the Crownguard everyone expected her to be. The years of unrealistically high standards and expectations instilled upon her left Lux fighting an internal battle - a battle she felt she was losing.One day, she was thrown headfirst into a diplomatic mission. With little to no knowledge of what to expect, she awaited the worse and feared for failure and bringing disgrace. To her surprise, a lone woman stood before her. Starting to think it would be a straightforward mission, Lux froze when she realized what was behind the woman. Six blades - hovering. Magically tethered to the woman before her. In the heart of Demacia's stronghold.
Relationships: Luxanna "Lux" Crownguard/Xan Irelia, Luxerlia
Comments: 8
Kudos: 44





	1. Embers

A soft sigh of contentment escaped her lips as she gazed into the dancing mist of sparkles. The sight that the young blonde was all so familiar with still manages to capture her breath and put her under a trance-like spell. Luxanna couldn’t help but feel her lips curl ever so slightly upwards as she watched the luminous illusion waltz with every minor adjustment she made with her hand. Lux loved how pretty and serene it was, making particles spin and twirl in choreographed patterns. It was something that she felt she had some sort of control over, something that gave her a sense of comfort and security. 

But she knew. She fully knew that beyond her makeshift blanket fort and past the bronze doors, her innate gift of manipulating this light would label her as an enemy, a witch, a - 

**_A disgrace and embarrassment. A traitor._ **

The cold voice inside her head nonchalantly finished. Lux barely flinched at the cruel words stated as she constantly reminded herself of how _treacherous_ magic is. She was made fully aware that her lineage and region declared magic to be their enemy at a young age. Forbidden. Yet, as if the gods were playing a heartless prank, the young woman was “blessed” with a source of magic deep within her. 

With a snap of her fingers, the warmth glow vanished like a flame, sputtering before dying out. Lux knew practically nothing about her gift, besides that it had something to do with light and being able to manipulate it. Her abilities were rudimentary at best, as she was not able to openly practice or read any ancient texts to hone her skills.

She forcefully shook her head and rubbed her eyes for what felt like the sixtieth time that night. She felt exhausted, yet sleep was eluding her, as per usual. Lux’s insomnia was unrelentless and her constant recollection of today’s noble teachings didn’t help her case. She reached over and made a blind grab for her wristwatch that sat on her ivory nightstand.

_3:16 AM. You’re joking._ The annoyed girl thought as she peered at the glowing hands on the watch face. 

Grimacing from the fact she spent the past two hours messing around, she decided she could no longer stand waiting for sleep to fall upon her. The petite girl knew that she had to occupy herself. Otherwise the _voice_ she feared would start speaking out. Grabbing her white satin cloak, Lux decided that she would walk a few laps around the mansion: a habit she developed as a child for restless nights. 

As she poked her head past the bronze doors, she peered in both directions of the hall. The gentle orange tinge of the burning candles lined the pathways, giving an almost cozy ambient. Empty and silent. Just the way she always knew it to be.

Continuing forward with light-footed steps, Lux tried to keep her mind clear and take in the crisp and chilly fresh air coming from the open courtyard. Yet she couldn’t do it. Never since the night she discovered what she really possessed. She knew that by taking a simple walk, she would feel better than being battered by her darker thoughts ruthlessly in bed. The thoughts and feelings come, she knew they were unavoidable, but she knew they were lightened in severity when occupied and in public. 

The image she held as a Crownguard was conditioned into her ever since she could remember. In turn, she unconsciously conducts herself in a manner for the public and as a representative of Demacia. A manner whose essence exudes loyalty, justice, and unity reigns supreme. Despite knowing that no one in their right mind would be up during this late hour, she still wore the facade whenever she left her sanctuary of a room. To her, the visage she wore invoked zero emotions within her, yet she couldn’t help but feel as if she was a fraud. The people of Demacia knew her for her cheerful, uplifting, bubbly, yet professional, manners. She was adored by many for it and she knew it. And she hated it.

Her light cavalry leather boots were muffled by the hall’s velvet carpets, yet each step softly echoed into the night. Even with the dimly burning candles, Lux knew she wasn’t alone. Accompanying her, statues and paintings of past distinguished Crownguards lined her side, at around every crook and cranny. They were judging her as she strolled the corridors, as if she was being presented to a jury for sentencing. A sentencing that she knew the verdict to.

**_Enemy. Liar. Treason. Disgusting. Lawlessness. Murderer. Destruction._** Each passing artisan masterpiece, Lux echoed what she imagined her ancestors would shout to her if they discovered her abilities. A wave of self-hatred and self-doubt washed over her body, yet she felt numb to the harsh messages. Although numb to the spiteful words, there was one rumor, one folktale, that the young Crownguard feared for the most. 

**_Monster. Corruption._** A dagger-sharp tingle flew down her spine and sent a series of uncontrollable shivers through her body.

_So much for not thinking._ She thought, letting an agonizing sigh escape her lips. She knew what magic can do and for that, she feared herself. And despised herself. She never asked for this, yet she had been “gifted” with it. Needing to hide it from everyone constantly and having no one to help guide her, no one to turn to, the blossoming blonde was left to completely fend for herself. Alone. In the dark.

Too preoccupied with self-labels, the small figure collided harshly with a towering marble figurine around the corner. She rubbed her eyes to rid herself of the drowsy smog within her to get her bearings. She swore that there never was anything beyond that corner. She was _sure_ of it. 

Lux felt her lips form a minor frown when she realized what beheld her. A large knight donned in classic Demacian military garment and armor peered past her, focused with a determined and resolute glare. It wasn’t any regular soldier from the kingdom’s regiment, as draped around the man’s neck was a distinctive navy-gold scarf. A scarf given to him by her parents. Their parents.

“Garen…?” Lux whispered to herself, almost afraid as if the statue would reanimate and reprimand her for being up past curfew. 

Despite knowing fully well who the individual was before her, the blonde knew nothing about the person the statue glorified. They grew up together and were related through blood, as well as sharing the same Crownguard crest, but all similarities ended there. 

She pursed her lips, feeling a bundle of emotions go through her. Was it envy? Anger? Sadness? Happiness? Proudness? She juggled with the words to describe her feelings, yet she couldn’t settle with one. She hardly knew the individual, yet she was proud of being related to him. She knew from within that her brother deserved to be glorified and remembered as so, but she wouldn’t expect it to be so soon. Garen was only a few years older than her, yet his dedication to the military service of Demacia was profound and glamorized by many. It’s quite obvious why, as he was the living embodiment as the king’s shield. He served and protected the Demacian royalty, as all the Crownguards have before him. 

Lux couldn’t help but compare herself to Garen, as her parents have always done. Being pushed to learn how to serve and represent her family’s name, despite resisting since a young age, the golden-haired girl followed through to her service: not because she desired to, but because she was expected to. She knew she was inferior to Garen in terms of accomplishments, physical prowess, glory, and in terms of love. Love by her parents. Their parents. Despite being so closely related, she couldn’t help but feel distanced to her sibling, even when they were just kids.

* * *

_“Die, you evil sorceress!”_

_The young girl let out a shrill scream of joy and began running away from the “knight” and his “sword”. Garen huffed as he ran after his younger sister in a game they loved to play together. A game called “Kill The Evil Sorcerer”, as Garen liked to call it._

_Lux jumped over the stone bench and ran to the water fountain, hoping to be able to use it to create distance between her and her foe. Despite the girl’s petite physique, Lux’s physicality has never been extraordinary. Before she could even make it past the fountain, she felt the wooden sword tap against her shoulder._

_“Sploosh!” Garen exclaimed, grinning wide, “Your head got cut off and you’re dead.”_

_“Am not, I have magic and I healed myself!” Lux shot back in response, eager to prolong the game with a spew of a verbal battle._

_“You can’t, I swung my sword faster than you can cast anything”_

_“But I had a magical barrier around me before you could even touch me!”_

_“My sword was forged with Demacian silver steel,” Garen argued back. He held the sword on his shoulder and was staring at the blonde with eagerness in proving his victory. “It cuts through magic like butter. You died.”_

_“What if I flew away?... or what if I teleported?” Lux asked, tapping her finger to her lips. She was always fascinated by the idea of being able to fly, like the photos she saw of Piltover airships. Wouldn’t mages be able to dodge by flying?_

_“Nope. Dead.”_

_“Okay…” Lux sighed in defeat and sat at the edge of the water fountain. She wasn’t saddened, but she had wished she could somehow turn it into a victory for herself. She always lost this game, but she was happy to see her older brother victorious and smiling._

_Garen returned back to playing with his sword, fighting an imaginary mage. Lux extended a hand into the water and splashed gently around, watching as the sunlight refracted in various directions._

_Out of the corner of her eyes, she could see the taller boy jumping around, dodging the invisible spells the “mage” was casting. She tried her best to stifle her laugh, but she couldn’t help but giggle at the silly sight before her._

_Lux leapt up from sitting and followed her brother, mimicking his jumps and swings from a few meters away. She giggled and grinned, letting out a grunt between swings, just like her brother. She couldn’t help but add her own touch in the motions with some extra hops and unnecessary emphasis. In between a spin, she lost balance and landed onto her brother. At that point, she bursted out laughing and laid there, basking in the warmth of the sun. Garen gave a small smile and shook his head, feigning anger at the disruption of his training._

_“You know, someone like you can’t really join the ranks as a soldier.” Garen started, still laying on the floor._

_“That’s not true, girls can be part of the army!” Lux gleamed, as she picked herself up and turned to face her brother. She offered a hand in aid of helping him back up his feet, despite her being much shorter._

_“Thanks. And that’s right, but I mean you! You’re small and not very strong.” Garen said gently as he brushed the dust and dirt off his dark blue pants. “No offense.” He added._

_“That’s okay! I never really wanted to be in the army!” Lux shrugged and smiled at him. She never really cared for being part of the army. She thought they were cool and all the girls looked really pretty and awesome, but she didn’t want to be a part of them._

_The older brother lifted his head and stared into her eyes, quizzically._

_“An advisor for the military?” The blonde girl shook her head, but her eyes glittered with excitement._

_“Hm, a personal advisor for the prince?” The girl laughed and shook her head again. Lux was bouncing with eagerness in anticipation of revealing her ambitions for her future. Garen furrowed his brows and was running out of options._

_If not to serve as a defender or servant of the Demcian crown… then what else awaits a Crownguard?_

_“I GOT IT! A SPY! Not a soldier, but a super spy who goes on secret missions and stops bad people!” Garen exclaimed with his own eagerness, thinking he figured it all out._

_“I’m gonna be an adventurer! An explorer!” Lux proudly shouted. She balled her hands into a fist and shook them from uncontrollable glee. “For Demacia, of course!” She added._

_“Lux, that’s so stupid!” Garen spat out in disappointment. He crossed his arm and turned away from the tiny blonde standing before him. The girl walked over and stood on the stone bench so she could be at eye level with the older boy._

_“Is not! I wanna see the world one day and explore things, and see things, and eat things, and-and…” Lux exclaimed, jumping in place from enthusiasm._

_The taller boy rolled his eyes, before cutting the younger girl off, “Well, I’m going to be the best Demacian warrior!” Garen brandished the standard issued wooden sword, “I’ll protect the king, save the day, and marry a beautiful princess!”_

_Lux grinned, “I hope so too! It’ll be like the stories and then I can be frie-”_

_“But you can’t leave Demacia,” Garen stated, matter-of-factly, “WE need to protect Demacia and be the proud Demacians we are!”_

_Lux blinked and stared at her older brother with a puzzled look. Although she knew that was what she is, her blissfully ignorant youngster mind didn’t understand the significance of what her brother said._

_“I can leave, it’s simple, I could just go through the doors and I’ll be out to explore!” She replied, grinning at the idea that she found a solution for what her brother said. She giggled to herself, wondering why her brother said such a silly thing. The gates are always opened for all to come and go!_

_“NO, LUX,” He crudely uttered with a frown, “We, as in our family, have to stay and help the king! Crownguards are sworn to serve for them and you are no exception_ **_. Even as a girl, you have your duties. We have duties._ ** _”_

_The blonde winced at what the person she looked up to had told her. She didn’t understand it fully, but she believed it to be an attempt to dissuade her dreams. She felt the excitement vanish slowly and a deep, yet dull, pain formed within her stomach. She couldn’t muster any words, but nodded her head slightly._

_A smooth, yet steely, voice pierced the newfound silence. “What’s with all this commotion?” In an instant, Lux ears were perked and knew exactly who that voice belonged to._

_Mother!_

_Lux looked up and as quick as her excitement had faded, the joy of seeing her mother raced through her. The little girl ran towards her maternal figure as quick as her short legs allowed her to. She laughingly buried her face into her mother’s shoulder as the older woman reflexively caught her midjump._

_“Mother,” Garen confidently greeted. Instinctively, he placed a closed fist to his chest and dipped his head forward. A second nature ritual for the flourishing boy, as he perfected the traits of respectfulness and showing fidelity._

_The tall woman nodded and rested her free hand on Garen’s shoulder, a silent acknowledgement and a message in itself to relax. As on cue, the boy’s shoulder tension disappeared and he looked up and greeted his mother with a grin. The woman smiled faintly before she sighed and lowered the girl back onto the floor._

_“Luxanna,” She began, “Formality and respect for your elders are a must. Mannerism is crucial when greeting and communicating with fellow nobles and superiors,” Disappointment laced between her voice and words. Lux knew that only during “serious-big” events or “serious-big” trouble calls for her full name. Her mother frowned and continued. “We went over this.”_

_Yet unphase and oblivious, Lux peered back at the woman who had now knelt before her. She knew mother was leaving for another trip to Ionia and was glad to be able to have hugged her once more prior to her departure. She stared directly into her mother’s baby blue eyes, deep as an abyss, and smiled knowing she had the same shade. It was like an ocean. The ocean is big and pretty. Also there are boats that can take people places. Other places than Demacia! She clearly was distracted in her own world, as the woman called out once again._

_“Luxanna.”_

_“Luxanna Crownguard.”_

_Lux felt a grip tighten on her shoulder before she realized the towering figure in front of her had furrowed brows and calling her to attention. She detected wrath and annoyance in her voice. She swallowed the knot that developed in her throat, feeling it scratch on its way down._

_“Pay attention. You must address everyone with formality. Everyone. The Demacian way. You must stay focused, you cannot simply be in your imagination constantly. You can’t keep having these moments of being in your head, Luxanna. You’re a Crownguard and we Crownguards DO NOT settle with adequacy, let alone inferiority. Look at Garen.” The words hung heavy in the air as she realized her mother was fuming. Despite her well-kept appearance and sophisticated composure, she knew she was upset with her._

_Lux’s vision started blurring and felt her chest get lighter. “Bu-” Lux’s soft protest was unheard or perhaps simply just ignored._

_“Use Garen as an example. Why don’t you follow in your brother’s footsteps and learn from him?”_

_“I am-”_

_“You are not.”_

_Lux looked up with her mouth held agape. Warm droplets of tears trickled down her cheeks freely. Her mother stared past her and was looking at the boy standing behind the young blonde. The boy was too preoccupied with his basic sword techniques to hear the lecturing._

_“And you can not,” the woman whispered wistfully to herself, “ever.”_

_The woman thought it was an intrinsically voiced comment, but little to her knowledge, the young blonde heard every word._

* * *

Lux blinked again. She shook her head vigorously and wanted to keep on and pretended that the memory that assaulted her had never happened. She always wondered why a memory so minute and specific still replays in her mind at random and during unwanted moments.

With a small bow of respect, Lux continued her way. It was an empty gesture, but her heart tugged at her and she complied. She didn’t know why she had to do it, but she knew if she didn’t, the unwanted _feelings_ would come up. Like a booster to the _bad_ thoughts. She hasn’t spoken to the man that statue was modeled after in roughly eight years. He was shipped away for his service with the military and as the king’s personal oathsworn, leaving her all to herself at their manor. Almost all to herself, she corrected.

Despite her parents still residing within High Silvermere, they were never seen or heard from. Lux knew why. They were too preoccupied with royal affairs, serving as the king’s personal council, and assisting in the governing body of Demacia. _The same fate that awaits me._

The blonde gritted her teeth as she pushed forward with her personal solemn journey - no, patrol. A journey would be traveling to a destination with a purpose or to find something. This was no journey for her, but merely a routine she developed from countless nights of being unable to slumber. As she passed her door for the tenth time that night, the quietness of the night was shattered.

“Yes, madam commander,” a distant voice spoke out, “we were made aware of the situation.” 

The voice was coming from outside the wall of the manors, most likely belonging to a patrol watchma, Lux reasoned. She took a glance to her right and she saw the stained glass windows. The hues of amber and azure danced behind the glass, casting various different shades against the wall where the lumination hit. Lux knew it was the guard’s torch and the standard issued telephonic device that emitted those colors _._ Despite not usually being interested in spying or eavesdropping, her curiosity bested her, as she wanted to know what the commander had to say. 

_Commander Tianna, without a doubt. My aunt._ Lux knew she was given the duty of commanding the Dauntless Vanguard prior to her birth, a role of high esteem and valor. The Dauntless Vanguard represented the best of the Demacian military. Few were allowed to undergo training and fewer made it to active duty. Not only did her aunt command the elite, but she also unofficially held influence within the regular regiment.

**_Wow, yet you’re so useless,_** an intrusive flat voice pierced her thoughts. **_Imagine wearing that crest and accomplishing so little compared to all your relatives? What are you gonna accomplish, paperwork slave? What do your dead ancestors think of you?_**

Lux knew that voice, as it was her own conscience. It was a voice of unfair and cruel judgement. A voice that seeds doubt and fear. A voice that judges and controls who she is. A voice that was unloving, harmful, and toxic. A voice that not only that she couldn’t turn off, but she also listened and accepted as the truth. A voice that came to fruition when she was nine. 

The imagery of seeing her aunt in her esteemed position caused the intrusive thoughts of unjust comparison to emerge and crack through her mental headspace. Despite the blonde’s consistent attempts of distracting herself and pushing the depressive and harmful thoughts away, she knew they surfaced at times. And she knew fully well that these thoughts lead to strong emotions and feelings.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.. She needed to stop the thoughts before they started to spiral. 

**_Garen, the face of Demacia, idolized eternally as a statue._ **The girl exhaled slowly through her mouth. She felt an uncomfortable warmth as a scarf of precipitation formed around her neck.

**_The Savior of the Battle of Storm’s Fang, your grandfather._ **Lux’s mouth became unbearably dry.

**_And you? The next rogue magical murderer? The next disposable errand girl? Or are you too insignificant and hopeless to make any use of your mundane life?_ **

Instinctively, she dug her nails into her palm and tried to let the pain ground her. As if on cue, the voice subsided. Although the voice in her head was replaced with an eerie silence, the burden and emptiness that the blonde had always felt became sharper than daggers as it pierced into her heart and stomach.A sorrow-filled sigh of hopelessness and despair escaped her lips. Instead of giving in to wallow in her sensations, the girl regathered her senses and turned her attention back towards the window.

“...of course, utmost care has been employed in preparation,” the man continued, “All who needs to know were informed. Others were given a simplified gist, madam commander, but all are ready for tomorrow.” 

A slight downward curl of her lips revealed that she wasn’t informed of what was happening. Disheartened, she wasn't surprised as all major city affairs were beyond her current scope of training and responsibilities. 

_Was there a danger looming? No, we’re not at war or facing any threats… Maybe an event with the king and the people…? But that wouldn't make sense with not informing everyone._

“There should be no trouble, but of course, we need to be ready for anything. The scholars and instructors are prepared and have assisted in a lot of the preparation,” the guard replied and paused.

Although the eavesdropping blonde couldn’t make out what was said by the woman on the other end of the line, the commander’s authority and prestige was obvious in the gentleman’s manner of replying.

“I thank you, madam, for it is my honor and duty to assist in any way possible. On our front, we are ready and I am glad to have been of assistance. Is there anything else that needs to be addressed? Any concerns?”

Lux scratched her head, slightly frustrated with still being unable to decipher the plans. _Maybe a secret assembly for a handful of people? An assembly of scholars?_ Lux remembered when she used to partake as a scribe in meetings where only scholars across the region were permitted.

She shrugged to herself and turned to face the direction of her room. The conversation between the military leaders seems to be coming to a close. As if on cue, a wave of exhaustion settled through herself as a yawn escaped her mouth. The girl stretched her arms upwards and felt a jolt of pleasure and tension release through her back. _Whatever it is, it isn’t my problem. And if it is, that’s a problem for some other day._

Arriving at the bronze set of doors, Lux took a quick glance back towards the direction of the window before disappearing back inside her quarters. With exhaustion glazed over her eyes, Lux couldn't help but want to do nothing but retreat to the comfort of her bed. Unfortunately for the blonde, for if she waited a second, she might’ve picked up her name being mentioned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback, comments, and messages are always appreciated! There may be some small twists and discrepancies between the new lore and what goes in the story, but I try my best to follow with the lore that is currently out.
> 
> The story starts off a bit slow, as I want to kind of give a backstory to Lux and build up her thought process and all that.


	2. Smother

“Captain?”

Unintentionally, Irelia winced at the title she was addressed by. Although it has been several years since she informally adopted the rank, she never enjoyed or saw the sentiment behind it. She turned her head to view the speaker and was greeted by a woman basked in the luminance of the paper lantern that Irelia held. Irelia smiled at the familiar individual, as she and her had a long history. _The Enlightened One._

“Please, Elder Karma, I’ve always said you could call me Irelia,” Irelia loudly stated, nodding to acknowledge her presence. “What is it?”

The thunderous sound of marching Ionian boots echoed around the pair and made talking difficult. The footsteps of the battalion that was under the command of Irelia combined with that of the few personal followers of the Spirit of Ionia were audible for miles. Although some might find the noise ominous and menacing, Irelia unconsciously found it to be an annoyance. Irelia always preferred solitude when given the chance, but she knew that was no longer a luxury she could afford. Despite being mostly used to it, she made sure passersby and locals were reassured of their peaceful intentions. The young captain made sure that within each company, each platoon, multiple turquoise flags of Ionia were raised and all weapons were sheathed. 

Karma smiled, “We should see the city past this crest." Surrounding the woman, there was an aura of stoic composure, but her voice and facial expression were gentle and inviting. _Perhaps it’s because of the calming glow of the headpiece the elder wore_ , Irelia thought to herself. “We’ll arrive within the hour.”

The captain acknowledged the older woman with a discreet head bow, a voiceless gesture that speaks volume in itself. The midnight blue-haired soldier turned her head back forwards and ran through the proposal she had been brewing ever since she left Ionia. She quickly surveyed the area ahead, a practice she picked up during her years of leading military expeditions. In spite of the darkness that blanketed the surroundings, Irelia was accustomed to night operations involving near zero visibility. The difference in the northern region’s land compared to home was significant enough to make her feel as if she was on a different planet completely. Whilst the rocky lands were vibrant with green vegetations and various types of flowers, she noted that she couldn’t _feel_ any mystic source of energy or magic. 

_I knew they denied magic of all kinds, but not even allowing innate magic to be free flowing within the lands itself?_ Irelia questioned to herself. It wasn’t going to be a bother to her or her people during their short excursion to Demacia, but she always believed magic can be harmonized for the use of the greater good.

“Something wrong?”

Irelia’s head snapped back to the elder that was still strolling uphill alongside her. “Hm?”

Karma gave a low chuckle and pointed upwards, “Your blades are your tell, Irelia,” Sure enough, when the captain looked up, she was surprised to find one of the six blades hovering around her to be twitching erratically. 

Irelia felt her face become flushed and instantly made a reach to steady the odd one out. Even though visibility was low at night, the captain knew she was as red as her armored silk attire. With an embarrassed half-smile, Irelia softly replied, “Oh, nothing. Just thinking and a little nervous, I guess.”

“Nervous about…?” Karma pushed gently. She knew what the young captain was thinking about, but knew not to be too forward about it. The security and future of Ionia lies within the woman before Karma. The older woman knew although the people saw her as the spiritual and just leader of the people, Karma knew that it was Irelia who captivated and rallied the Ionians when it came to the image of a balanced Ionia.

“The proposal. What we want and what will we get what we want.” Irelia answered. The gnawing unease residing in her gut was persistent and didn't relent. She rarely ever feels unsure when in battle, but when it comes to diplomatic affairs and leading her people, she was always hesitant in whether her actions were the right ones. This one was no exception. 

“Relax,” The elder reassured. “You always have the people’s best interest at heart. The First Lands would not be what it currently is if it wasn't for your actions.”

“But I-”

“No but’s, what if’s, or how’s.” The dark featured woman interrupted. “You're more than ready and capable. And from what you’ve told me during rehearsal? The deal seems perfectly balanced and mutually beneficial.”

Irelia couldn't help but smile at such confidence and reassuring words. “You sure have a way with words, huh?”

“What can I say,” Karma shrugged nonchalantly, ”The Spirit of Ionia is one charismatic-”

“Okay, okay,” the captain grinned, “Humble yourself, o’ great one.” 

The gnawing unease she felt momentarily ago disappeared and was replaced with a sensation she could best describe as “warm”. In spite of the esteemed positions the two women held, Irelia felt that Karma was the closest person she could call family and a friend. Their history and love for the First Lands allowed Irelia to feel understood. Karma was the first person to share the same goal as her: to unite and find balance for Ionia, to be free and to be safe from outside evils.

Karma laughed and rolled her eyes. “Aye aye, captain.”

Before Irelia could muster a clever comeback, she realized they had arrived at the apex of the hill.

“Holy shi-” the captain whispered under her breath. 

The Great City of Demacia laid before them as the pair peered from above. From the azure-haired girl’s perch, Irelia saw the vast city stretching across the horizon with no end in sight. As if it was on display at a pristine relic exhibition, the grand city radiated an unspoken essence of civilization and sophistication with its white exterior architecture. With the full moon’s reflective glow casting upon the landscape, Irelia couldn’t help wonder. _Is this a mirage?_ Blinking multiple times and rubbing her eyes from travel fatigue, she still couldn’t believe what an architectural masterpiece that stood in front of her. Even though Irelia organized and timed the arrival to be during the late hours during the dead of night, she could see handheld lanterns drifting slowly within and around the city itself, signifying that the dwellers were still out and about with their lives.

Irelia quickly gathered her senses and instinctively started to tactically analyze the scene, a skill picked up when she was a young warrior. Her experienced eyes darted rapidly between key interests that stood out to her. 

_White watchtowers, tacky, but looks pretty good,_ she noted to herself. _Multiple layers of walls, fallbacks in case one gets breached, smart. Guards patrolling the top of the walls and a few sentries stationed between each watchtower. The keep or castle seems like it has a wide-angle overview of the city and its surroundings. Tactical spot. Multiple guards near the gate- holy, that’s a lot of guards. Probably that’s the main gate… the Last Gate?_

Roughly estimating off the tiny heads, Irelia deduced that standing in front was perhaps a platoon, no, a company’s worth of men. 

_That’s about… a hundred or so men…_ Irelia frowned and felt the darker instinct within her starting to churn. The instinct that only came out when her blades would need to be “introduced” to someone.

It was as if they were expecting company and were ready to employ a counterattack to a siege. Standing in the frontline were spearmen, wearing full cladded steel armor suits. A few meters behind, there were cavalry riders with armored horses. Archers further in the back. Although Irelia couldn’t make out any of their faces from the distance, she could feel the cold stares that were glued onto the lanterns that she and her men were holding. 

This wasn’t a dangerous setup, was it? 

Irelia blinked and tried to remember the map that Karma provided while back in Ionia. It was a rough sketch pulled from the historical texts back in the Placidium, but it was as close to date as they had of a plan for Demacia. _And in hell, it did not look a damn thing like what I’m seeing_. 

She wasn’t surprised, as cities tend to change, but she was feeling travel exhaustion creeping up upon her. Irelia tapped her feet with frustration, as she tried to verify from memory that this was...

“We’re facing the Last Gate,” the elder enlightened one softly stated, still eyes glued onto the city. “And it appears that they’re expecting us.” It was clear that even the Spirit of Ionia was left astonished.

Irelia nodded in silence, confirming that her initial guess was correct. She unconsciously reached for one of the floating blades above her and began rubbing its edge. Irelia knew that the blades were sharpened, oiled, and shined prior to departure, but she found comfort in being able to hold something physical. Some people bite their nails or pick at their skin when nervous, but to the dark haired girl, inspecting and holding her blades helped calm her anxiety.

“Let’s not keep them waiting, eh? Are you ready to rally the troops, Captain?” Karma questioned. The elder held her stare straight towards the city, but the young captain saw a sparkle in the elder’s eyes. 

A surge of reinvigoration coursed through her veins as Irelia stood to attention. _We’re in sight of our goal, we can’t relent. What we accomplish here can change Ionia’s future for the better._ Exhaling, Irelia took a step forward and turned to face the battalion behind her. The sea of lanterns and individuals, men and women of different ages and appearance, sent a tingle down her spine. As far as she could see, hundreds of soldiers gazed back at her, waiting eagerly to hear what the commander had to state. Irelia felt a balloon of pride build up in her stomach as her heart skipped a beat. The sight of seeing her people so determined and willful to better Ionia, as determined as she was, was the only thing that felt closest to pure joy to her. 

“Children of the First Lands,” The captain bellowed out, as she lifted her fist and raised it into the air. As if on command, her floating blades stood still and expanded behind her, exposing all six blades in a flourishing fashion. Her throat strained as she threw her voice as far as she physically could, but she kept going. 

“To attention!”

A unified, yet deafening, roar exploded among the troops. In a wave progressing from the front to the back, fists were raised to signify that Irelia held their undivided attention.

“We’re here standing before the people of Demacia,” She paused, taking a glance at the elder advisor. Karma was standing there, arms folded behind her back, and smiling with approval.

“Not because we’re weak and asking for protection or assistance, nor are we asking for a handout, no. We’re here because WE are extending our hand as Ionians to Demacians an offer: as we’re all children of the spirit, we all strive for balance and for peace, whether we actively seek for it or not,” 

Irelia allowed her eyes to slowly wander the crowd. All eyes were held on the young captain; eyes that were hungry for what promises the woman had for them. 

“What is the offer we wish to provide? An offer where we shall offer our plethora of resources as a sign of trust and friendship, in exchange for mutual trades to help both Demacia and Ionia flourish, a practice our ancestors would never have fathomed,” 

Ionia was known for her independence and not needing outsiders. But Irelia knew trading was not a necessity for her people. It was more of a transition for her next point. Irelia felt her mouth rapidly dry up, for she hated what she had prepared for the next part. She frowned but began again.

“An offer where we shall offer our blades in their times of need, in exchange for an alliance forged through mutual respect and understanding of beliefs and one another’s sovereignty. Ionia and her people do not stand for violence, nor do we condone it as a means of resolving issues. However, peace sometimes requires the price of blood. A price we do not want, nor want others, to have to pay. Not again.”

Mutters and mumbles were heard across the troops, as no Ionians wanted anything to do with warfare. Never since what happened during the invasion. The idea of taking arms to help another faction for their war? Unheard of to most Ionians. Given the chance, most Ionians would turn their heads and would stay oblivious to the destruction taking place if war didn’t involve them, but Irelia knew that wasn’t how it worked. If war took place, it was only a matter of time before it came knocking at their doorsteps and at that point, there would be no one around to help. Only the victors who crave for more bloodshed. 

Peace and balance was what Irelia wanted, what her people wanted. If it meant needing to bear arms in alliances with other regions, so be it. Irelia didn’t want to think too much about what a utopian city of Ionia could look like. Instead, she only thought of what could be accomplished and what she could do for her people.

“With that said, we shall advance cautiously with no malevolent intent to the Great City of Demacia. We shall let them know that Ionia has only respect and admiration for Demacia and her people. With what we may accomplish here, the future that awaits Ionia is one filled only with happiness, stability, and peacefulness.”

At that moment, Irelia could hear the crickets chirping around her and the tree branches rustling from the wind. The entire battalion stood in silence, almost as if they were judging her for the outlandish proposal she seeked for their homeland. 

Irelia felt a bead of sweat drip down from the back of her neck as she stood still, frantically swapping gazes between the soldiers standing in the front. She desperately tried to decipher their facial expressions in order to see how her people received her speech. 

To Irelia what felt like an eternity, a minute took place before a slow clap pierced through the quietness.

Irelia snapped her head to her left and saw Karma, clapping softly, but firmly. Steadily, the men and women followed the elder’s example. The intensity and volume of the applause grew dramatically shortly after. Irelia felt a smile crept onto her face as the cheers and shouts of agreement began. Irelia was never one for giving speeches, but when she did, she was always never sure how they were interpreted. For once, however, she felt confident and at ease by the reactions of her troops.

With a full blown grin, Irelia turned back to face the city that was beckoning her. Heartracing, she began the descent from the hill and moved towards her goal. The captain tilted her hand slightly and guided her blades back to her sides, at ease, but also at the ready.

A solid three minutes passed before a voice brought her attention back from her mind.

“Wow,” Karma playfully teased, as they descended the hill. “Didn’t take you to be a charismatic leader, captain.”

Irelia let out a small chuckle and shrugged, “I only learn from the best.”

  
  


* * *

  
  


As Irelia made her way along the pearly paved road, she felt a shiver of excitement sweep through her. The flags of Demacia and statues of noble knights lining the pathway only added to the feeling that something special awaits for her at the end of the road. The city she saw from the hill seemed even more massive now that she was almost at its gate. _So has the welcoming party._ Sure enough, she saw the size of the garrison has only increased since she first spotted them. And leading them were… two new sergeants?

Irelia squinted her eyes as she tried to gauge the figures. 

In the very front, a single warrior was on a mount, where both him and his horse were donning a full set of flashy and pretentious armor: golden metallic in color, accented in ebony engravings. In spite that the man’s spiked helmet was open-faced, with the lighting casted by the lanterns of his men, his facial features and expressions couldn't be discerned or read. Although she couldn't read his intentions, she knew he was awaiting her. 

_Is he the commander of the army…?_ Irelia thought to herself as she closed the distance between her and him. The man was the only one who wore such a distinguishable suit of armor. 

The trek from the beginning of the road to the city gate was a lengthy trip, where she could've been told to stop advancing hundreds of meters back, yet the men stood their grounds in silence.

To the mounted soldier's left, another man differed from the regular foot soldiers. Irelia froze as she noticed what the man was wielding. The enormous sword held was clearly forged with refined steel; yet even in the low lit environment, the sword had a tinge of amber radiating from its blade. Everything about the man appeared to be a defiance of the laws of physics. The sword was not only unwieldy, but would also encumbered even the strongest of men. To make matters worse, the man’s armor was heavily plated with multiple pieces of different metals, only adding to what would weigh him down. Oddly enough, the man didn’t wear a helmet, exposing what would be his weak link. Compared to the captain’s own soldiers, this man’s armor made her soldier’s armor look like a child's wet paper-mache project. Irelia knew he was different. From her battle experienced eyes, the man was not encumbered at all and he knew how to swing that sword with deadly precision.

“Commander Xan Irelia?” A voice called out from the gated side of the road. 

Irelia steeled herself as she realized she was being spoken to. She took a deep breath and brought herself back to reality. She stopped and held her fist in the air, not breaking her gaze off from the garrison in front of her. The echoing marches of her troops ceased immediately. 

“Captain Xan Irelia, at your service.” Irelia corrected firmly. 

Commander was what some initially wanted to address her as, but she compromised with being called captain instead. She believed that the lower the discrepancies within ranks, the lower the “power rift” would be between her and her people.

“Captain Xan,” the low voice called out again. “May we meet halfway in the middle and speak in private?”

“With due respect, sir, may I ask who is speaking?” Irelia asked.

“King Jarvan Lightshield the Fourth, my lady.” The gold-cladded man on the horse rode forwards. _Figures_. She knew nobody on a regular battlefield would wear something so eye-catching. It’s more of a statement or message than anything else. 

“His majesty,” Irelia pursed her lips and took a step forward, “My apologies for not recognizing your presence.” 

She never greeted anyone of royalty before. Awkwardly, Irelia dipped her head and bent at her knees. She extended her arms out, as if presenting herself to the king. _I only read story books about kings and queens. Is this proper…?_

“At ease, Captain,” the king laughed, “We don’t do that here. We can speak as neighbors to neighbors.” He raised his hand and dismounted from his horse.

Irelia felt her face fill with warmth as she stood back up. She sheepishly smiled and nodded. She knew not much about the Demacian customs, but she didn’t want to offend or disrespect anyone, let alone the king.

“Understood,” Irelia replied while trying to conceal her embarrassment, “I’ll like to request your audience with my advisor, Elder Karma, by my side.”

“The Spirit of Ionia, Elder Karma? Of course, it would be my honor.” Jarvan IV replied eagerly, “I’ll have you meet a close friend of mine as well, a brother-in-arms, if you may. Garen?”

Irelia looked back at Karma with disbelief. A Demacian who has knowledge of our spirit and beliefs? But how? Karma gave Irelia a reassuring smile. The elder was unphased with the revelation of information the king possessed. Ionia’s spiritual leader isn’t a closely guarded secret, but Irelia always thought that outsiders didn’t care for her people’s customs. 

As the pair of Ionian walked forward to close the distance between the approaching pair of Demacian, Karma whispered softly into Irelia’s ear.

“There are some things I haven’t told you about the Demacians...”

Irelia frowned. Before Irelia could question the woman, the Demacians were in front of them. 

“Sergeant Crownguard, reporting.” The man who wore the gigantic suit of armor muttered as he stood by his king’s side. 

His face was expressionless and she knew that the swordsman had no intention of socializing. Irelia acknowledged his presence with a light nod.

“King Jarvan, I was told that Commander Tianna was going to be taking us in at this hour and oversee our diplomatic affairs between our people,” Irelia politely questioned, “I’m honored to have been able to meet you, but you didn’t have to wait for our arrival at such dead hours into the evening.”

“Nonsense, all guests of my city are mine too. I’ll make sure you and Elder Karma get well taken care of,” The king pleasantly replied. “However, there are a few precautionary things we need to discuss before you set foot into the city.” 

Just like that, Irelia detected a shift in his tone. The king’s voice turned from lighthearted and hospitable to one that can be best described as monotonous and austere.

“For one, as you may know, Demacia is a land where magic is forbidden. The Great City is no exception,” Jarvan IV said as he eyed the floating blades by Irelia’s flanks. “I welcome you with open arms into our city, but make no mistake, Captain. Any act of magic will be seen as an act of aggression and will be dealt as such.”

Irelia and Karma immediately locked eyes in that moment, both frowning. Although Irelia had no intention of using magic, she felt a sense of uneasiness. Magic was essentially the captain’s main source of self-protection. The blades that Irelia guided through her dance forms were tethered to her body via magic. She quickly manipulated her hands gracefully and guided her blades into a fixed triangular formation onto her back. To an untrained eye, it looks like a sheathed crossblade, but upon closer inspection, the six blades were not restrained by anything.

“Second, we see that you have brought your troops along for your journey here,” Jarvan IV continued, undaunted by the two Ionian’s reactions. “We understand the need for security reasons, however, your soldiers are not allowed onto the premises of the city. It will be seen as an act of trespassing. Your soldiers are more than welcome to set up camp outside the city limits or seek sheltering-.”

“May I ask why my men and women are not allowed in?” Irelia spat out with a piercing gaze.

The king faintly smirked, “Captain, a diplomatic mission does not require a battalion for an escort. Especially at this hour.”

Irelia was caught off guard at the confrontational attitude the man displayed. The battalion was supposed to be a gesture of goodwill and determination, where she and her people were making the expedition to become acquainted with Demacia and her people. She gritted her teeth and folded her arms. Exhaling, she bit down on her lips. She needed to maintain a level head.

“Not even a handful of my trusted officers?”

“I’m sorry, but as of right now, we cannot be too cautious, especially when magic is in question. We hope you understand.” Jarvan IV smiled apologetically. Whether he was sarcastic or not, Irelia’s vision was blurred with rage at this point.

“No, I fu-” 

“Of course, King Jarvan the Fourth,” Karma interrupted, “We do not want any misunderstandings and are happy to comply.”

Irelia closed her eyes as she felt her anger seething through her very pores. The speech she held with her troops replayed in her mind. She did not come this far to be disrespected - to have Ionia be disrespected like this. She felt a hand grasp at her arm and gave it a small squeeze. She opened her eyes to see the elder holding her.

“Is that right, Irelia?” Karma smiled. _Her eyes say something different,_ Irelia thought to herself. 

“Correct, my apologies, your majesty.” Irelia sighed bitterly.

“Then that settles all my concerns,” the king replied sincerely, “Shall we lead you to the Commander?” 

“Not yet,” Irelia muttered with displeasure, “Oni, to attention.” 

“Captain?” A deep rumble belonging to a veteraned man called out behind her as he stepped forward.

She turned to face the source. The man, Oni, looked into Irelia’s eyes with anticipation. From the battlescars carved into the man’s face, Irelia couldn’t help but look away out of respect. She knew what she was going to say was going to annoy her friend, but she knew he would understand. Oni was whom Irelia declared to be as second in command in the case she fell in battle. The two saved one another’s lives during the battle of the Placidium and ever since, they remained close comrades on the field and great friends outside of battle.

She shuddered at the daggers the men behind Oni glared into her. She didn’t dare look into their eyes, as she feared the disappointment they would feel when the order to pull back came through. She used her finger and motioned Oni to come closer to whispering proximity. Once the man obliged, Irelia sighed and began.

“Do not react. Do not make a scene. Listen to what I am going to tell you because I am just as fucking upset,” she began begrudgingly, “Rally the troops and take them out of the city limits. Set up camp for the night and begin the march back to Ionia in the morning. When you get back home, you and our men take a two day break. You all deserve one. I will be just fine here with Elder Karma. Inform the Elder council that diplomatic talks are underway. Do you understand me?”

Oni recoiled back and stared wide-eyed into his captain’s eyes. She expected that reaction. From the first days she knew the man, Oni was a man who would not let harm fall upon her. She brought her head into a solemn and slow nod. She held out her hand and offered the lantern to him. Oni knew not to second guess his superior. He nodded and gripped her arm and gave it a firm squeeze. _Stay safe._ As he took the lantern, the man began his walk back towards the sea of Ionian soldiers. 

Irelia breathed in slowly and exhaled once before turning her attention back to the trio awaiting her. 

“Shall we then?”

* * *

_So much for "well taken care of"._

A man draped in a sorry excuse of a navy tunic was leading the way to a place called “The Citadel of Dawn”, apparently the palace where the king lives and where the Commander would take them in for the evening. Irelia looked at Karma who was casually conversing and laughing with the man as he gave the pair a “tour”. 

She scoffed at that idea of a tour as he was pretty much just leading them like children to where they were staying the night for. Irelia paid no attention to the man and just followed along, ignoring what he had to say. She felt her patience running extremely thin with how the conversation between her and their _so righteous_ king went. 

_We’re your guests of honor and you can’t even bother to walk us to your damn home, but you would rather send someone to do it for you?_

Sighing for what might’ve been the millionth time, Irelia focused on the pebble she had been kicking since she entered the city. She figured if she focused on kicking out her frustration at an inanimate object, the pent up rage that was storming within her would fade away.

_Do they even know what we represent. Our views. Our beliefs? Yet, they jump to conclusions in assuming that we’re not trustworthy when we only want to better us BOTH?_

“This is the Grand Plaza, as you can tell by how grand it is.” The man jested, eyeing the elder with a twinkle. Karma let out a small giggle. Irelia just rolled her eyes. 

He’s not trying to flirt, is he? Because if he was, Irelia felt she'll be at his throat for wasting her time with his futile attempts.

“But on a more serious note, this place was built at the heart of the Great City. The wide and massive courtyard here allows for large mass gatherings for citizens and visitors to honor our King. From here, we have a spectacular view of the Citadel, where the King stands from his perch at the balcony.” 

Irelia took a glance at her surroundings. Although it was magnificent in beauty and design, Irelia felt nothing but despise at the moment. She wanted to just get in and get out. Hell, she didn't even care if the proposal goes through or not at this point. Out of the corner of her eyes, a cyan crystal stood in solitude near one side of the plaza, dimly emitting a dull glow. On the opposite end, a similar crystal stood there as well. The crystals didn’t emit a source of magic that could be utilized. Instead, Irelia felt it cast off an energetic radiance that pulsed steadily, an energy that is strong, but restricted.

“Demacia doesn’t allow magic. Why are there magical crystals.” Irelia stated flatly. She looked up and saw the man physically jump, obviously startled.

“Oh, my. I nearly forgot about you,” the man laughed nervously, “That’s correct, Demacia banned the practice of magic, however, we utilized these crystals as more of a last line of defense. The runes it floats on does not allow for the source to be withdrawn from the crystals. Instead, the runes detects if a large burst of magic is within proximity. If detected, a barrier will expand over the Plaza and Citadel, protecting all underneath it from physical and magical danger.”

“Mm.” Irelia grunted in acknowledgement. The man confirmed the suspicion she had. It was a defensive structure.

The man frantically turned back around and continued the tour. Irelia let out a snicker to herself as she knew from the man’s reaction, he was intimidated by her. Karma threw a nasty fake frown at Irelia, but the dark blue-haired girl smiled back innocently.

“H-here we are, Elder Karma and Miss Xan Irelia,” the man stuttered, “The Citadel of Dawn awaits.”

Irelia glanced up and saw a hooded figure carved into the dome structure towering over them. The hooded figure’s face was indiscernible. Accenting the citadel, castle walls converged at the sides of the building, giving it a more refined and sophisticated appearance. Although Irelia held a negative connotation of the city she was in, she still felt the air leave her lungs at the sight of such a majestic palace. 

The man bowed and said, “Enter through the front and someone should be waiting for you.”

“Thank you.” Irelia muttered, eyes still darting about, taking in the details of the architecture.

“Mister…?” Karma asked.

“You can call me Xeras.” The man glowed with happiness at her acknowledgement.

“Mister Xeras,” Karma continued, “Thank you for such an amazing tour. Can I bother you for a favor? May you lead me to a place where I could perhaps rent a room for the evening? I’d love to be able to explore the city first thing in the morning and I simply prefer not to bother others with accommodations within the king’s palace.”

_What the._ Irelia raised an eyebrow at her elder, questioning her intentions and ideas. Karma discreetly raised her hand to calm the captain’s thoughts. The elder mouthed some words, but Irelia couldn’t pick up everything. Something, something, morning, information, and Demacia’s culture.

“Of- yes, of course, Miss Elder Karma! My pleasure, I’ll make arrangements so you will not need to pay a dime.” The man stammered, as his face grew red. 

He didn’t take a moment to say goodbye to the captain before leading the elder away. Karma shrugged and gave a wave of encouragement before disappearing in the direction the man fled towards.

Irelia shook her head and hoped that the poor man didn’t have any expectations, as he is going to be severely disappointed. 

With her being left alone, the captain felt the first sense of peace and quiet since she disembarked on this “trip”. She knew her people looked up to her as a leader and that she stands for Ionia’s armed forces, but deep down, Irelia didn’t want any of this. She craves for time alone and to be able to live her life as her own. She loves Ionia and her people, but she never felt any sense of freedom for herself. Every action taken or word spoken is analyzed and recorded. In the end, she didn’t mind. Her passion for Ionia burns greater than anything else in the world. A small dream is not going to come between herself and protecting her land and people.

As she stepped into the palace, a lengthy, black marble staircase greeted her. Knowing that the only way she was going to get a bed to rest on was to climb those few thousand or so steps, Irelia began the painstaking ascent. On a regular day, Irelia would not waiver at such a menial physical excretion, but after traveling for seventeen hours straight, fatigue had long settled in. With each lift of her feet, she felt her heartbeat quicken and wind being slowly sucked out of her. The steepness and height between each step certainly didn't help.

Out of breath, Irelia pulled herself up over the last step and knelt over and allowed herself to catch a break. _Did Karma know about these steps? Is that why she left me?_

A muffled giggle bounced off the walls as the captain tried to steady her breathing. 

When Irelia stood up, still panting, she was greeted by the sight of a petite blonde woman giggling feverishly with her hand covering her mouth. Irelia frowned at such childish behavior, but quickly snapped back to attention. She felt her heart skip a beat, as she began to piece the description of Commander Tianna’s appearance to the woman in front of her.

_Blonde hair. Blue eyes. Slim figure._

Irelia instinctively dropped to a knee and folded her right hand across her chest, while dipping her head. It was a formal Ionian salute, exclusively given in rare circumstances for greeting Elders.

“Commander Tianna, it’s an honor to finally be able to meet you,” Irelia began enthusiastically, “I’m so very thankful for you in having me here and seeking to better our relations between Ionia and Demacia.”

Silence filled the inside of the chamber.

“Um, hi, Captain Xan,” the voice in front of the captain spoke out, “I’m not the Commander.”

“You’re honestly kidding me.” Irelia snapped. She rapidly stood back up and glared at the girl, face reddening from both embarrassment and irritation. 

“No,” the blonde smiled meekly, “My name is Luxanna, but you could call me Lux.”

“Apologize.” Irelia scowled.

Lux blinked in confusion. Irelia felt her temper sear, a trait that was unusual for her. For as long as she has known, never has she ever blown up upon someone, but upon stepping foot in this city? She had never felt her level of anger soar this high and for her patience to have vanished into nonexistence.

“What?” The blonde asked, scratching her head at the obscene demand.

“I said. Apologize.” Irelia repeated with venomous intent.

“Did I do something wrong, Captain Xan?” The girl gripped her own arm and scratched herself anxiously.

“APOLOGIZE.”

“I’m sorry.” Lux shrugged casually and looked away. She gave off a laugh that was full of uncertainty and nervousness, but to Irelia at that moment, it sounded like a mockery. Not wanting to deal with this bullshit anymore, Irelia finally began yelling at the top of her lungs at the blonde, blacked out in anger.

  
  


“I DEMAND TO SPEAK WITH COMMANDER TIANNA. I’VE BEEN WITHIN THIS CITY FOR THE PAST HOUR AND HAVE BEEN SHOWN NOTHING BUT DISRESPECT FOR MY PEOPLE, MY LAND, AND MYSELF. I DO NOT WANT TO SPEND ANOTHER SECOND SPEAKING WITH SOMEONE WHO IS NOT GOING TO GIVE ME THE RESPECT I DESERVE.”

As Irelia felt the last word escape her mouth and came back to her senses, she realized she was surrounded by guards with spears aimed at her. The blonde in front of her stared back with doe eyes, wide and scared of the monster Irelia was a moment ago. The woman felt eyes were trained on her, but she knew it wasn’t her that was being gazed at. It was her blades.

Irelia grimaced as she realized her blades were held in a formation above her head, angled downwards. Aggressively. An attack formation. Never before had she lost control and had her blades act on their own will in a social setting. The most was twitching from anxiety or swaying from contentment. The only time that she blanked out and had her blades takeover was during the occupation of Ionia.

Irelia bowed and stammered out an apology. She quickly guided her hand in a series of motions that brought the blades back onto her back once again. The guards didn’t move. The blonde still had her eyes glued onto her. The captain said nothing and hung her head in shame. There was no recovering from this. Not for Ionia. Not for herself. She failed.

“At ease, soldiers.” 

The spears didn’t move at all.

“AT EASE, soldiers, before I send EACH and EVERYONE of you to a whole month of stable cleaning.”

From her peripheral vision, Irelia saw the spears reluctantly withdrew one by one. Despite no longer being surrounded, Irelia didn’t dare look up. She couldn’t help but feel disgusted with her sudden outburst. She disgust was soon replaced by a wall of shame, for she had never been angered to the point of screaming.

“Captain Xan Irelia, I presume?” A smooth, yet husky, voice called out.

Irelia nodded, but had her eyes still glued onto Lux’s boots, afraid of locking eyes with anyone. 

“Tianna Crownguard, commander of the Dauntless Vanguard. Pleasure to finally meet you face to face, captain.” 

A hand extended into Irelia’s view. As she lifted her head to gaze at the individual, she was stunned at the similarities between the Commander and the girl named Lux. It was as if they were a younger and older version of one another, except the commander was wearing a unique set of armor where the shoulderguards were flared outwards, appearing as if she had wings. Reaching out for her hand, Irelia began speaking what came into her mind at that instance.

“Xan Irelia,” Irelia spoke sheepishly, “I apologize for-”

“Don’t apologize. I’m sorry for the treatment you have received. I should’ve been the one to have met you at the city gates, but a bit of complications have arisen.” The commander interjected sympathetically.

“We do not mean any disrespect to you or your people, especially not to Ionia. We’re at edge currently, you see. The King may be blunt, but he was being protective of his people as you were just now,” Tianna continued, “We recently lost contact with a town and their guard posts for a few days now. The current plan is for my troops and I, along with Garen and King Jarvan the Fourth, to ride out there and inspect what the issue may be.”

Irelia nodded and processed the information that was relayed to her. The spite and anger she felt prior vanished and she began to sympathize with the Demacians. 

“How can I be of assistance, Commander?” Irelia finally voiced.

Commander Tiana smiled and shook her head, “We value and thank you for your eagerness, but you came here to discuss our relations, not make wellness checks in local towns.”

“I would like to make up for my immature and irresponsible behavior.” The captain stated blankly. She felt she had to redeem herself.

Tianna laughed and placed her hand on her shoulder. “Of course, that would be simple,” Tianna grinned, “My niece here, Luxanna, will be conducting the diplomatic talks on my behalf as I will be away for at best, a few days. Promise me you won’t take advantage of her inept abilities and make a deal that would bankrupt Demacia or send us to our doom?”

Irelia felt a laugh crept up from her chest as the weight in her chest lightened up. She shook her head. “No promises, Commander.”

“That’s what I like to hear, Captain Irelia. With that, I wish you well and I know the relations between our factions will be unbreakable. I cannot wait to see what progress we have made when I return.” Tianna called out, laughing, as she began walking down the steps leading out.

Wait. Luxanna…?

Irelia turned her head hesitantly back towards the direction where the blonde stood. Staring back at her, Lux smiled pleasantly and waved back eagerly with both hands.

Despite being roared at a few minutes ago, the blonde acted as if it never happened. Irelia felt her throat tighten, as she felt guilty for her mistreatment of a person she hardly knew. The captain took a long look at the blonde’s face. Despite her gleaming and positive appearance, Irelia knew something was amiss. A face that appeared so foreign, yet so familiar to Irelia.

Then it clicked. The visage the younger girl wore was ineffective to the captain. Irelia has met several men and women throughout her years across war torn lands. Many pretended to be well to preserve their dignity and to avoid receiving handouts, so that others may benefit more from it instead. While she knew those who pretended to be well were strong individuals, Irelia knew some who pretended to be well not because they were strong.

No, but because they had given up.


	3. Flicker

Irelia tossed her covers off and sat up, still weary from the events of last night. She wasn't able to get more than a few hours of slumber, as by the time she settled under her covers, it was already the break of dawn. 

The captain couldn't help but recollect what happened the previous night. Following the departure of the commander, Luxanna led Irelia to her designated visiting quarters during the Ionian’s stay in Demacia. Lux showed no signs of hostility or any difference in respect to Irelia’s outburst. Instead, Irelia recalled the girl humming and appearing eerily happy. No words were exchanged between the two, yet Lux appeared calm and neutral in Irelia’s presence. 

It bothered the captain because it wasn't normal behavior in any aspect. No one she knew showed indifference in the face of disrespect or malice. Even Ionians don’t. A usual response would be of either submissive behavior or matching confrontational mannerism. 

She felt her heart race and her palms damped with sweat. She rarely ever felt nervous, but the fact she was made her even more anxious. The captain never broke character. The character of a fair and gentle leader. The traits of one who would lead her nation and her allies in harmonious prosperity. Not one who snaps and threatens others with a blade in the heat of a situation. The shame she felt from last night came crashing onto her again.

With a quick swipe of her arm, Irelia called the blades that rested against the table to her side. As each blade meticulously positioned themselves, Irelia can hear the unique pitch that each blade vibrated off. It was subtle, but in the complete silence of her room, the pitch was audible.

Irelia sat at the edge of her bed. _Soft. White. Almost as if it was a cloud._ She couldn’t remember the last time she was able to rest on something so luxurious. Back in Ionia, she lived modestly. If it wasn’t a standard military issued bedroll, it would be her futon in her home. 

The woman shook the last remaining veil of sleepiness that was draping on her eyes. She stood up and slipped on the armored steel boots that were uniquely tailored to her. As per her morning routine, she stretched her arms overhead and allowed her back to crack and realign itself. The immense wave of pleasure that raced along her spine forced a hushed groan to escape her lips.

_Well,_ the captain thought, _it’s best to just get this over with._

Irelia knew that she didn’t mean that she was hesitant with diplomatic talks. Neither was she hesitant about tackling her day in a foreign city. She was more than prepared for the diplomatic affairs and she’s well-traveled enough to know what to expect when in foreign territory. She was hesitant in confronting the precious blonde from last night.

_Precious._ Irelia frowned. She wasn’t sure why she labeled her as that. The Crownguard before her appeared more than capable enough to defend herself. Hell, she stood resolute in the presence of the captain’s verbal barrage. 

The captain exhaled and shrugged. _Whatever._ The captain walked towards the bronze door that separated her only space of solitude from the foreign land of Demacia. 

As she pulled open the door and stepped forward, her chest was greeted by a forceful blunt that sent her off balance. Before she could steady herself and assume a fighting stance, she was already toppled over and on her back. A high pitched laugh pierced Irelia’s ear.

“And now, captain,” A familiar voice spoke out, “We’re even.”

As Irelia lifted her head, her eyes locked onto the golden strands that reflected off from the sunlight behind the figure. Although the captain couldn’t see the face of the individual, she knew who it was.

_Luxanna._ The captain felt her breath get sucked out of her chest. 

“I-I,” Irelia stuttered in shock. Her words failed to escape from her lips. She was surprised by the sudden confrontation. The blonde was still buckling over from laughing. 

“I’m sorry,” the petite girl giggled, “I couldn’t help myself. I heard you walking and wanted to give you a little scare.”

Lux bent over and offered a hand to the woman still on the floor. Irelia’s gaze was fixated on the bubbly girl’s light blue eyes. Her eyes twinkled, but also seemed to give off an amber hue when caught in the right light. Despite Irelia feeling mesmerized by the depth she saw, she noted that somewhere in those depths, there was a tinge of darkness within them. She couldn’t describe it. But it was as if those eyes hid the burdens the owner carries.

Irelia reached for the hand and with the aid of Lux, she uprighted herself.

“No worries,” the blue-haired woman chuckled, “I must say, you caught me completely off guard.” Irelia looked up and saw the petite girl smiling. The golden-haired Crownguard was holding arms behind her back, eagerly listening.

“Miss Luxanna Crownguard, I want to formally apologize for last night’s outburst. It was unchar-”

Lux grinned and waved a hand dismissively. “Call me Lux, Captain Xan,” the girl began, “And don’t worry about it. I should be the one apologizing. For how we mistreated you and for. F-”

Lux looked away meekly and scratched at her neck.

“For giggling at you when you were climbing the stairs. I just thought it was cute.”

Irelia felt her face reddened and her cheeks flushed with warmness. She looked away too. The embarrassment of appearing physically incapable was something she despised. For too long, she had individuals underestimate her for her young appearance. They underestimated her physicality, her mental strength, and her leadership in moments where her human side showed. How she felt yesterday night appeared foreign to her today. Instead of feeling anger or shame, she felt…

_Unsure. Confused? Puzzled._

Irelia couldn’t piece it together, but she felt her flight-or-fight instinct kicked in, albeit it was a much more milder version. She didn’t feel as if her life was at risk, yet she felt her adrenaline pumping. She wanted to be combative to the term the blonde used to label her, but she didn’t. The label was foreign to her, the first time someone had used that to ever describe her.

“Um, it’s alright.” Irelia replied softly, still consumed by her own thoughts. She was still entirely fixated with that word. _Cute_. She rolled the word around in her head intrinsically, trying to figure out where it stood in her description.

_Could it be part of a mind game,_ Irelia thought to herself. She pushed that thought to the back of her mind. She wasn't eager to consider her potential future allies to be deceitful, but she couldn't throw that out as a possible outcome. She knew too many occurrences where the evil masked themselves as good, only to reveal their true form and intent later on.

“Well, good morning, Captain Xan!” Luxanna excitedly said. “So, Commander Tianna stated that I’m in charge of the talks between our Demacia and your Ionia.”

Irelia’s focus snapped back to reality at the mention of the talks. _Right. That’s why I’m here after all._

“But, riddle me this, how can we focus on the betterment of our regions if we’re on empty stomachs?” Lux gleefully exclaimed.

The childish mannerism of the one who was her designated diplomat for her visit was a refreshing surprise on what she would’ve expected to be a mundane and rigorous process. Despite the casual behavior being a welcomed change, Irelia needed the individual to understand that Ionia’s fate laid between them. 

“I do not know if time permits that, Luxan-” 

“Lux.” The shorter blonde politely corrected.

“Lux,” Irelia continued, “We do have a lot to discuss and I do not wish to take up too much of your time for the day. I’m sure you have a lot of other responsibilities and other more important tasks you have to attend to.”

“Nonsense,” Lux refuted, “My only responsibility is to ensure you have a pleasant stay and to forward both our regions. And I assure you, I'll make sure both you and Ionia will be treated properly.” 

Irelia studied the girl’s face. Her vibrant optimism was contagious and her smile was authentic. The captain couldn't detect any waiver or malice in her words, but she knew better than to just blindly trust the words of someone else. Especially not to someone she has just recently met. 

Irelia decided that she’ll entertain the blonde. She didn't have anything else to do besides the diplomatic deals and to be quite honest, she didn’t know what to do during her time before and after the negotiations that were scheduled for later in the afternoon.

_It also wouldn’t hurt to get a meal in, I guess,_ Irelia thought, _The last meal was back when we made camp about a day ago._

“If you insist, Lux.” Irelia nodded reluctantly. 

She figured this could be an opportunity to analyze her “target” and see if there were any ways of exploiting any weaknesses: a tactic she employed when dueling. She believed it could work with negotiations as well.

“Great,” Lux grinned, “do you want to meet by the entrance to the Plaza or would you like me to accompany you?”

Irelia quickly glanced behind her, into the dark room. She did a once over to see if she was missing anything deemed a necessity. 

_Blades, check. Uniform, check. Headpiece and boots, check._

_Oh, shit,_ Irelia felt her heart drop, _I forgot that my travel bags were with Ondu._

She realized that she had no extra change of clothes, nor did she have the equipment to maintain her battle gear. She didn't expect to see her blades be used, but she formed a habit of maintaining them. It allowed her to feel a sense of security, knowing that her weapon is in pristine condition.

Lux waved her hand in view. “Something's a matter?”

“H-huh? No, my apologies, I was checking to see if I had everything needed for the day. I do.” Irelia lied. Appearing weak and incompetent prior to negotiations was not what she wanted.

“Lead the way.”

Lux smiled and nodded, but she stood her ground. She continued to stare at the captain. Irelia felt the penetrating gaze of the blonde, but didn't question it. She knew what the shorter girl meant by the stare and she was thankful the blonde didn't say anything.

With a subtle placement of her straightened hand to her chest, the blades floated to a “sheathed” position on her back. Lux said nothing, but her eyes were glued onto the captain’s blades. 

“Could you teach me how to do that?” Lux asked humorously, as she began walking towards the corridor leading to the main hall.

“One deal at a time first, perhaps?” Irelia responded, giving a guarded smile as she followed along.

  
  


* * *

  
  


As the pair stepped forth from the Citadel, Irelia noted the once empty Grand Plaza was now bustling with life. Faces, like pebbles on a beach, were swimming amongst one another as they went about with their daily routines. The sunlight casted down from high up above, telling Irelia it was close to noon. 

Along the edges of the Plaza were several stalls established by the merchants from all over. Irelia noted the distinct metallic gears from Piltover, the mossy leaves from Bilgewater, and even icy pelts from Freljord all on display. Irelia was fascinated with how busy the plaza was during the day, so packed with merchants and people, yet when evening fell, the plaza became void of traces of life. Almost as if the area was designated to be off-limits.

The two silently cut through the crowd around them, progressing further into the heart of the city. In spite of the silence shared between the pair, the city around them was loud and bursting with energy. Even though she was “blended” into the denseness of the crowd, Irelia knew she stood out like a sore thumb. Her attire of mulberry-colored silk contrasted what the typical navy-silver tunic the Demacians wore. The blades and headpiece she donned certainly did not add to the subtlety. 

Lux, on the other hand, was like a spectre gliding through the night. Her petite figure slipped in and out of the crowd with such grace, it appeared as if the girl was dancing effortlessly. The blonde was smart enough to slip into an unremarkable Demacian cloak to hide her unmistakable golden locks. 

“Here, quickly,” Lux raised her arms, pointing towards a pathway that diverged from the main road. Irelia quickly followed without a word. Lux knew Demacia better than Irelia, who was she to question her?

“Where are we headed?” Irelia asked, swiftly glancing around her surroundings.

It was a narrow alleyway with nothing remarkable. The only purpose it served was to connect the main road with an adjacent road. Yet, the path appears as if it was never touched. Dirt track and dusted footprints indicated this path was last touched approximately four days ago. A marking that is odd for a city of this caliber.

“Shortcut. To one of the many hidden gems of Demacia!” Lux merrily said while she was skipped ahead. “Don’t worry, it’s not a trap or anything.”

Irelia tensed at the mention of a trap. _Was it obvious that I’m on edge?_ She didn’t like being in crowds, but she also disliked being in unfamiliar territory. She always felt the most vulnerable when surrounded by strangers. The possibility of being attacked from any angle by anyone was enough to make her hair stand. In addition to the fact that her blades weren’t floating freely by her sides? That meant that the window of being vulnerable was even wider.

“Which is?” Irelia questioned.

“You’ll see.” Lux giggled, still proceeding forwards. 

Irelia wasn’t satisfied with her answer, but she let it go. She figured that she was the guest of her visit and nothing bad would fall upon her. _Right?_ She still at least felt she had to make it up to Lux for the prior night. Following the girl through a simple trip through the city and for a quick meal should be sufficient enough to call it even.

“LUX!” A shrill feminine voice echoed from the opposite end of the alleyway.

A young girl, no older than nine, ran up and buried herself into the cloak of the blonde. The cloak appeared to as it had swallowed the tiny child. Irelia felt a sly grin form. Children were her weakness. They were a bundle of innocence and pure joy, uncorrupted by evil or by the horrors of war. Lux returned the embrace and knelt down to eye-level with the youngin. 

“Tsk, tsk,” Lux feigned annoyance, “It’s Lucina, the dark warrior, when I’m wearing my shroud of mystery!”

“You know I can’t say all that.” The small girl giggled, letting go of the taller girl’s cloak.

“Who are you?” The girl turned her eyes onto the captain who stood behind Lux the entire time. The girl’s eyes grew from shock and she immediately looked at Lux for protection.

“Does she know?!” The girl whispered loudly to Lux. Irelia could tell that the girl felt a sense of guilt and fear from potentially revealing the blonde’s true identity.

“She’s with me, she’s a great friend of mine!” Lux reassuringly replied. She rustled the tiny brunette’s hair, eliciting a laugh from the child.

Irelia nodded and walked forward to Lux's side. She knelt down as well and matched the child’s height. 

“That’s right, my name is Irelia. Pleased to meet you!” Irelia held out her hand.

The girl stared shyly and hid herself slightly behind the blonde. Lux giggled and patted the girl’s head, softly edging her on.

“Hello. My name is Florence. But Lux calls me Flo. I hope we can be friends.” The brunette timidly mumbled. 

“Of course, Flo. I’d be honored to be your friend.”

“Let’s go say hi to your da and ma,” Lux said, “We’re going to stop by for a quick bite.”

At that mention, Flo perked her head up and nodded eagerly. Giggling, she ran ahead and disappeared around the corner.

“She’s adorable, isn’t she?” Lux sighed wistfully, “Her parent’s own a restaurant, a simple sandwich shop. You have to try it.”

Irelia simply nodded and stood back up. She was still semi-transfixed at the young Florence’s energy and what she had said to Lux.

“You typically don’t let yourself be known as Lux?” Irelia asked, despite having a good suspicion of the reason.

“I prefer to stay out of the light,” Lux answered, “It tends to allow me to avoid unwanted interactions. But Flo knows me quite a bit that this disguise doesn’t work.”

Irelia was right. She slowly walked ahead of the blonde and followed the direction where Florence had disappeared off to. She didn’t hear the calls of the kneeling woman behind her. In her mind, she was still too preoccupied with calculating and trying to understand what character Lux was.

_She’s friendly and childish in manners. She makes great friends with common children. Yet, she prefers to be disguised and avoid being recognized by the citizens of Demacia, by her own people. But why? She seems good with her wits and can easily utilize her words to navigate through difficult situations._

Irelia furrowed her brows. _Deadly. Especially in espionage. In deceit. In negotiations._

Irelia knew that the only thing deadlier than a person who masterfully wields a blade is someone who masterfully wields a golden tongue.

She felt uneasy about Lux. There was something about her that gave her a different feeling. A feeling of uncertainty and uneasiness. Was it distrust? Was it fear that she would be played or being taken advantage of? Or was it fear of being betrayed? 

As Irelia turned the corner, she was grabbed out of her internal monologue - literally. Irelia felt her hand being pulled at gently. She peered down and saw the familiar girl. Florence was giggling and began dragging the captain ahead. 

“Come on, Irelia!” The girl excitedly yelled. “My ma and da would want to meet my new friend!”

Irelia smiled and complied with the joyful brunette. She picked up her pace and allowed herself to be carried off to a small white brick building situated at the corner of a semi-busy street. The shop appeared modest and not too extravagant. If it wasn’t for the banner hanging from the front, Irelia would have never guessed it was a sandwich shop. To her, it appeared almost as if it was a residential home with tables out on their front patio.

“Sit! I’ll let them know you’re here!” Florence directed. She guided the captain to a wooden table at the front of the shop.

Irelia laughed, “Okay, okay, Flo. I’ll be here.”

Irelia was amused by the young girl’s actions. She was shy and timid moments ago in the alleyway, but now, she was eager to have her parents meet Irelia. Irelia grinned at the innocent naivety while she pulled a chair for herself. Before she could try peering into the back where the girl disappeared off to, a figure stepped in front and blocked her view.

“That Flo,” Lux pouted, “Can’t have her charming you and then proceeding to steal you from me”

Lux grabbed the seat and plopped herself in front of Irelia. She held her hands up to support her head and stared at the captain. Irelia froze. The thoughts she had in the alleyway came flooding back to her. 

_There was something not normal about this girl. The behavior. The comment before and her statement now. What game was she playing at._

“Why?” Irelia finally questioned firmly, eyes locked with the petite in front of her. There was no anger or offensive intent behind her question, but rather of confusion and a desire for an answer.

“Why?” Lux repeated, unsure about what the captain meant.

“Why are you acting the way you are?” Irelia asked. The ambiguous question was open to interpretation but it seems that Lux immediately understood what the captain meant.

Lux smiled. But her smile was different from the ones Irelia had seen before. It had a dash of sadness behind it. The girl looked to the kitchen, but didn’t say anything. A moment passed before Lux turned back to face Irelia, who was still studying her.

“Tell me, Captain,” Lux asked in a serious tone, “What is a family without love?”

_Huh?_

Irelia blinked dumbfoundedly. What did she mean by that? A family? Isn’t a family built from love? A family is where one feels safe and comfortable with those around them. A family is where one feels desired and respected, no matter what happens. But without love, a family is not a family. Simple as that. 

Irelia opened her mouth and paused.

“Family exists on love. Without love, there is no family. A familial love is what allows one to grow and flourish and to feel welcomed, regardless of what has happened...” Irelia slowly reiterated her thoughts aloud.

Lux gave a small nod of acknowledgement and continued, blue eyes still locked onto the captain.

“Correct. So tell me, what would one do if they were never given that love? What would they feel without ever knowing what a family is?” 

Irelia knew exactly what the result would be, as she had seen many orphans that were victimized due to the war she partaken. What she had felt herself. Young soldiers and bystanders who had seen their father and mother cut down before them, brutally. Her heart sunk at the mere thought of such atrocities.

“They may or may not lead a life of solitude as they lack a safe haven to fall back onto. They’re more prone to live a life through a lens of black and white, where love and the connection between people is an abstract idea. Ultimately, it leads them into a dark abyss of sadness and loneliness.” Irelia answered remorsefully. 

“Correct, again.” Lux nodded, “Our regions are different in many ways: in beliefs and in practices. I would like to allow you to feel the true hospitality of Demacia and to build a relation of amicable respect and love between our two factions. Without this “love” between our factions, we’d be serving simply for our own interests, no?”

Irelia was stunned by the sudden articulation of the blonde’s words. She began to understand the lighthearted behavior and comments that Lux made. She was trying to establish a rapport and a personal relationship between the two diplomats. A gateway that may lead to a more intimate diplomatic relationship between the two factions. Irelia was too focused on protecting the honor of Ionia and its interests to really focus on Demacia and their own interests.

“And I just wanted to be friends with you, you seem pretty cool. Teasing you is fun.” Lux added, snickering.

Irelia smiled for once at the words Lux said. Perhaps she was a bit too rash and quick on believing the girl was incompetent or deceitful. The tension she felt that was hovering overhead since she arrived in Demacia lightened up at the revelation of Lux’s reasoning.

“Teasing, Lux, is not the way to make friends.” Irelia shook her head and gave off a genuine laugh. Lux’s eye twinkled and the corner of her mouth grew wider at the captain’s response.

“You’re right,” Lux winked, “Neither is yelling at strangers.”

Irelia felt her face redden slightly and she shook her head defensively.

“Alright, alright, let’s start over. Nice to meet you, my name is Xan Irelia. But you could call me Irelia.” Irelia zestfully said while extending a hand.

“Luxanna, but call me Lux.” Lux grinned. She stared at Irelia’s extended hand but refused to shake it.

“H-hey, that’s not polite.” Irelia said, a little flustered from the oddity of the refusal. She withdrew her hand and settled it on the table.

“Sorry, I was just mimicking Florence, in hopes you’d be as nice to her as you will to me.” Lux beamed cheekily.

Irelia placed her hand over her face and laughed into it. She couldn’t tell between who was more childish, whether it was Florence or Lux. 

“Okay, okay, fine.” Irelia finally muttered out, groaning from the antics Lux was putting out.

As Lux was celebrating her minor victory, Florence popped up besides the two with a tray. On the tray were two neatly made sandwiches sitting on top of a fancy porcelain plate. The plate had intricate designs of what Irelia made out to be… raptors flying? Accenting the raptors and pattern was a metal that shined as bright as gold, but had the color of silver. 

“Here, Lux! The usual!” Florence proudly exclaimed. “And Irelia, I didn’t know what you want, so we got you what Lux has! Ma and da says hi, but they're busy with their deliveries this morning.” 

The little girl carefully placed the sandwiches on the table and observed the two elder girls for their reactions. The sandwiches were elegantly made into equal and proportionate sizes, skewered by a simple wooden toothpick that held all the ingredients within. From her view, Irelia made out that there were lettuce, tomatoes, and some sort of meat - squished between two slices of white bread. It appeared flawless and better than any military ration she usually had. 

“Thank you, Flo,” Lux said, “Perfect as always! Say thanks to your parents for me, will you?”

Florence nodded in response and then turned to face the captain, eager to hear what she had to say. Irelia felt a fuzzy sensation build in her heart from the adorable purity that was in front of her.

“Send my regards to your parents, as well. And thank you, it looks lovely.” Irelia bowed her head in the child’s direction. 

Florence raised her eyebrows in amused confusion with the gesture and looked back at the blonde girl. The two both shrugged at one another before Florence skipped back towards the direction of the kitchen. Irelia pretended to not notice the two.

“Do you usually speak so formally, Captain Xan?” Lux asked, sliding the dish forward to Irelia.

“I suppose, I never realize if I am or not. I believe it’s how I speak usually.” Irelia replied. _Do I? I don’t think I do. I address everyone with mutual respect._

“Because you don’t speak that way when you’re embarrassed or when you’re happy. I like it, it’s kind of like a window to your mind when you’re passionate or honest about something.” Lux said softly.

Irelia was startled to hear that coming from Lux. She never really paid attention to herself. Usually, it’s the other way around, where Irelia focuses on those around her or her surroundings. The way she conducted herself was engraved in her when she was younger, where respect to her elders was important.

Irelia purposely grabbed at the sandwich and brought it to her mouth. Although she was hungry and was longing for a proper meal, Irelia used the sandwich as a makeshift temporary sanctuary, giving her a few seconds to process and reorganize her thoughts before she spoke again.

Lux was right. The sandwich was one of the best she has had in her past twenty four years. It appeared simple from the exterior, but she knew that the shop had used a perfect blend of seasoning for the meat to give it a rich and aromatic taste of smokiness, tart, and sweetness. 

“How did you meet Florence?” Irelia finally asked, trying to steer the direction of the conversation away.

“Oh, her?” Lux mumbled between bites, “I saw on the streets playing by herself once so I joined in and we became friends. She didn’t realize I was a Crownguard until I told her, haha.”

“Ah, you two seem close, almost like she was a younger sister.” Irelia nodded.

“No, we’re not, but you could say we are at this point!” Lux responded casually. “What about you, do you have any siblings yourself?”

Irelia averted her eyes and felt her heart turn to lead, sinking deeper into her chest. She gritted her teeth and steeled herself from the emotions that were slowly occupying her mind.

“You don’t need to answer that, Irelia.” Lux said softly, as she placed her food down. 

“No, it’s okay,” the captain replied, eyes still avoiding the blonde. She didn’t want anyone to see her teary eyed, especially not her companion right now.

“I hav-had four brothers,” Irelia stated softly, “Zelos, Kai, Ohn, and Little Ruu.”

Lux interrupted edgily, “We don’t need to talk about this, Ireli-”

Lux placed her hand gently on top of Irelia’s, but the captain failed to notice. She was too deep within her thoughts, reminiscing of her gruesome past.

“They were mostly older than I then. Zelos being the oldest, around fourteen. All except for Ruu, he couldn’t have been much older than Florence.”

The blonde called her name in an attempt to draw her away from the dark pit she sees Irelia was being dragged into. 

“They all fell at the hands of Noxus. Along with my father, mother, and o-ma. None stood a chance against their blades. They grabbed me. Th-they-” Irelia continued, oblivious to Lux’s interruption.

“I’m sorry, Irelia, but how about we talk about something else?” Lux pleaded. She gripped Irelia’s hand tighter, which was enough to ground the captain back to reality again.

Reflexively, Irelia pulled her hand backwards when she noticed the warmth that laid on top. She didn’t register that her reaction took place until she looked back at the petite girl and noticed her slight shock, but hurt, expression.

_Why did I do that? Her hand. Why did she do that?_

Irelia was unfamiliar to personal contact with others, as most of her closest allies knew to give her space out of respect. The foreign sensation that she felt when their hands touched felt comforting and soothing, only after now that it has been withdrawn. It only made Irelia yearn for it even more. A yearning and craving she didn’t understand. 

The contact with Lux that she made when she was entrapped by her memories helped pull her out. Almost as if she fell overboard and Lux's hand was the life buoy that prevented her from going under.

“I didn’t mean to bring past memories up.” Lux apologetically whispered. The girl brandished a frown for the first time that Irelia could remember since meeting her. A frown that hung low and heavy.

Irelia didn’t respond. Her mind bounced between her family and of the girl in front of her. She felt the pain of loss that happened nearly a decade ago, but she also realized she felt an excitement for the strange feeling that she felt in her chest when her hands were touching Lux’s. She felt the sadness vanish by the second as Irelia focused on the fleeting tingling sensation that the softness of Lux’s palm had left.

“And please, let’s pretend what happened thus far has not occurred. I believe it’ll set a bad taste in place for our business ahead. Let’s proceed back to the Citadel, Captain Xan, and get straight to the interests of our factions. I apologize, I’m sorry. You take your time with your meal and you can go whenever you’re ready. We’ll rendezvous shortly later.” The girl spoke solemnly, tone devoid of the bubbliness that was present prior. Lux stood up and proceeded to walk towards the kitchen counter in the back, seemingly ready to take care of the tab. The girl didn’t look back at the captain.

Irelia followed the girl with her eyes, but didn’t open her mouth. She wanted to stop the girl in her tracks. She had a thousand questions and statements she wanted to make in front of the girl, but none that she could vocalize. She allowed the blonde to trek out of her field of view before she stood up and began to backtrack her way to the keep. The sudden mood shift of the atmosphere destroyed the remainder of Irelia’s appetite.

The rapidness of what unfolded was a blur to the captain who now stood alone once again. Confused and dazzled, she made her way through the sea of people in the plaza. One second, she was having a meal with her host, seemingly making a deeper connection with her. The next second, her host disappeared and seemed upset. And now, Irelia is alone wandering a city she doesn’t know well. It doesn’t make sense at all. Irelia was the one who was entering a state of despair. Why would Lux be the one upset? 

_Why did she leave? Did I say something wrong to offend her? And why did she hold my hands?_

_I can't recall when the last time someone did that._

_But why did I want her to hold it for longer. Why did her touch send chills of pleasure down my back. Why do I worry and care how she thinks of me. Why did I worry about how she is feeling now? Why now?_


End file.
